I'm Not Anxious

Anxiety grips at the heart of so many in society today, and we have come to just accept it as part of life. My sophomore year in high school, I became really good friends with a foreign exchange student from Denmark who we called LaLa because we couldn't pronounce her actual name. We took Latin together, and our teacher used that as an opportunity for us to learn about how different American culture is to Europe. We were expecting answers like food, clothes, sports, etc. But the words she said opened the eyes of all of us...

"Americans are so fearful. You're suppose to be the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you are all held so tightly with fear that you aren't even living life."

That statement sparked such a great conversation that lasted for days. When he asked LaLa to explain some specifics on comparing how we are more anxious than Europeans, he realized that what she described as European was the America he knew before 9/11. Though we were old enough to remember the tragic day of 9/11 ourselves, we could not remember what life was like before that tragic day. All we knew now was that you don't go to the bathroom alone, you don't walk outside at night in a big city unless you have protection, and you observe every single person getting on a flight with you to ensure there is nothing suspicious.

LaLa was right about one thing: Americans are anxious. Anxiety has been something I have always dealt with even as a little girl. Any time I had a recital or competition or even just going to take an exam, I would quite literally worry myself sick. When I began driving, I would panic any time someone wanted to ride with me because the thought of putting their life in my hands was crippling. I'd pass out at the thought of public appearances... I dreaded my wedding day and was mid-panic attack the entire time because it involved me standing on a stage with people staring at me. At night time, I cannot walk through my house at night if there is a window around. I will literally crawl under the window because what if someone is there to shoot me?! 

I've listened to the podcasts. I've read the books. I've memorized the scriptures. I finally realized that LIFE IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE THIS WAY! 9/11 sparked an anxious spirit into Americans. I believe that is exactly what Satan intended it for. Look at us, people who weren't even alive on that day are still suffering with anxiety today. 

Studies show that the average child (not adult.... child) today is more anxious than the average psychiatric asylum patient from the 1950's.

Look at the grip of the chains Satan has placed on our country. It is time for us to go to war for our country. To speak against the strongholds and claim the freedom promised to us as children of God. 

This past weekend, we took our youth students to Fusion Student Conference. On the first night, many of our students went to the altar to get free of the anxiety that controlled their life. Leaving the altar, they felt SO free and joyful. And the second life outside of the doors happened, they were so discouraged. I, however, know their freedom is there.  

Healing is a process. We want things right now this instance, but even when a wound is healed, the scab still takes time to flake away. 

So, what should we do after we take the healing freedom God so earnestly desires to give us? What do we do the next time we feel anxiety or fear creeping into our minds? We use our weapon... we worship!

I'm not talking about in the middle of that exam, standing on top of the desk and belting out about the reckless love of God. I mean you THANK HIM. That's the essence of worship, right? Thanking and loving God for who He is and what He's done?

I feel anxious... Thank you Lord for the home I get to go to every night

I feel anxious... Thank you for the opportunity I get to get a degree that will one day help me provide for a family.

I feel anxio... Thank you Jesus for not allowing my house to flood last night.

I feel anx... Thank you for my husband who is always so patient with me even in my meltdowns

I feel.... Thank you for entrusting us with students week in and week out to show them your love

... and then eventually, your thankfulness brings JOY!

Reality is, we live in a fallen world. Situations will arise that can produce anxiousness. Healing comes when we choose to live by who God is, not what our circumstances are.

This morning, I was anxious. I had given up my entire weekend of schoolwork to be with our students and church family. This morning,  I was anxious because it is midterm week and I'm so behind. BUT this morning, I got up, I filled my mind with thankfulness, and now here I am, sitting here with my Faye Faye's nutrition shake, listening to worship music, filled with joy and hope, and getting ready to tackle economics and calculus.

Today, I'm not anxious. Today, I'm joyful.